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Happiness Hack #29 Focus on the Now

 

 

 

How to be Happier by Appreciating Now Instead of Worrying About the Past or the Future

Oppenheim said “the foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.”

Mindfulness is about looking at what is around us and under our feet rather than missing the “now” because we are worrying about the future.

 

One of our biggest challenges in life is focusing on what is right in front of us. We are either chasing the happiness that will come if all the stars align, or regretting the past where we made mistakes and didn’t do things we should have done.

Practicing Mindfulness is one way to experience the gift of the present. Observing and appreciating what we have and what is around us today helps us find peace. Having gratitude that we have made it where we are, sets us up for a better future by giving us hope and confidence.

Mindfulness has been shown to improve immune function as well as reduce muscle tension, headache, stress, anxiety, and depression.

To be more mindful, wear a rubber band around your wrist and pop it or move it to your other wrist every time you catch yourself worrying about something you did in the past or what might happen in the future. Stop and appreciate your surroundings. Give people your full attention when you are with them. Slow down and enjoy your food. Think about the smell, taste, and texture of every bite. Schedule electronics free zones and times so you can absorb your surroundings or just think without distraction.

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” Alice Morse Earle

 

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About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Focus on Today

Happiness Hack #15 Mindfulness

Focus On Your Happiness Today. Don’t Wait For Tomorrow.

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” Alice Morse Earle

Research has shown that mindfulness can improve immune function, as well as reduce muscle tension, headache, and other forms of chronic pain. It has longer-term impacts such as lowering blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Mindfulness has also been shown to help with stress, anxiety, and depression.

Mindfulness is about appreciating what is happening today rather than worrying about what might happen or agonizing over what happened in the past. It includes being curious and open to discovering new inspirations and information in the current setting.
You can be mindful by living in the present moment and appreciating what you have right now to be happy about. Take a few moments to observe your environment and notice things you haven’t seen before. Instead of focusing on “getting it done,” try to enjoy doing it. When you sit down to a meal, don’t just eat. Look at the colors, smell the aromas, think about all the tastes. If you are spending time with a friend or loved one, concentrate fully on them and what they are saying. Don’t think about what you have to do next or what you are going to say. Listen deeply to what they are communicating and appreciate the time you are spending with them.

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.” Oppenheim

 

buy from amazon white small

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Skiing Down the Mountain of Life

We just finished a week long ski vacation with the family, and every year it is a fantastic experience.  Over the years I have noticed a few lessons that are applicable to our success as well as our life and happiness.

 

  1. Sometimes you go with the flow of the mountain and roll with the hills and turns it gives you; sometimes you cut across the mountain and define your own path; and sometimes you tuck and go as fast as you can in a race to the finish.   Our lives and careers are a balance and we are happier when we can learn to do all three. If we spend too much time going with the flow, we get bored and don’t feel challenged.  If we spend too much time battling and blazing our own trail we get worn out and beat up, and don’t have time to appreciate the other parts of our life, and if we don’t focus and head for the finish line every now and then, we spend our lives in “almost mode”, never fully reaching our dreams. Find the balance that is right for you.  Pay attention to when one method isn’t working and you should switch to another.
  2. The battle is between you and the mountain; don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.  Some people will be slower than you and some will be faster.   Older people will struggle to get down the mountain, while small children will whiz by in a flash of confidence and skill.  If you are thinking about how or what they are doing, you can’t focus on how you can get better and make it down the mountain in the best way for you.    If you compare yourself to others and come up short, you risk losing the confidence and momentum needed to be your best.   If you compare yourself to others and come up looking better, you can become complacent and not reach your full potential.  Your success and happiness depend on your ability to focus on being the best you can be, rather than being distracted by what everyone else can be.
  3. When you fall down don’t lay in the snow.  It just makes you colder and less motivated.  Too often we get knocked down by the challenges in life and find it easier to just lay there instead of jumping up and risking another failure.  The longer we lay there the harder it is to get up and get going again.  Don’t get stuck on the mountain wishing you hadn’t failed. Get up out of the snow as fast as you can, fix your skis, adjust your goggles and head back down the mountain. Chase your goals until you reach them, no matter how many times you fall.
  4. Take lessons.  Don’t believe you can teach yourself or that you are the only person in the world who is dedicated to helping you get better.  We all need help and perspectives from different people. We need encouragement and brutal honesty.  Surround yourself with teachers, learn from everyone you can.  Keep pushing to become better. Help others by letting them help you.

 

Lastly and most importantly, skiing is not just about getting down the mountain; it is about enjoying the trip.  Focus on the goal, but have fun along the way. Then when you get to the bottom, you will be excited to ride back up the lift and start again.

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

How to get Happy – 4 Concepts connected to Leadership and Success

Over the years I have had the opportunity to study leadership and success.   I am struck by the connections between each area and how those connections are similar for happiness as well.

 

Your first test on happiness:

  1. Do you want to:
    1. Receive happiness like winning the lottery or receiving a gift?
    2. Experience happiness as a state of mind?

If you choose A, then you may be waiting for a while, possibly forever.  However, if you choose B, then we, the team at Pursuit-of-Happiness.org, have a lot to share that may be helpful.

 

Sonja Lyubomirsky, in her book The How of Happiness, explained that happiness is created through our daily intentional activities.  This is consistent with Leadership and Success as well.   Happiness is within our ability to control with what we do in our daily lives and how we think.

 

Here are 4 concepts that will provide a framework for exploring happiness.

The first concept is understanding the difference between Pleasure and Happiness.   Are you chasing immediate pleasures like sex, decadent foods, couch time, and video time, or are you nurturing relationships, maintaining your health through diet and exercise,  finding ways to improve yourself, and being thankful for what is working in your life.  The pursuit of pleasure involves feeling good in the short-term at the possible risk of negative long-term outcomes; the pursuit of happiness consists of intentional activities and habits that promote long term health and well-being.

 

 

The second concept is taking control of your life.   George Bernard Shaw although a little gruff, was headed in the right direction when he explained pursuing happiness as, “…being a force of Nature instead of a feverish little selfish clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. “  Do you own your decisions and the consequences of those decisions?  Are you deciding every day to invest in the habits and activities that will lead to happiness or are you waiting and hoping that happiness will find you?

 

The third concept is cultivating close positive relationships.  Do you have a few close friends you can talk to and share tell about your failures and successes? People who know and appreciate the real you, the good and the bad?  Are you caring and sharing in the community? Is there a person, group, or cause that you care for and give to?  The acts of sharing our true selves with others and caring for others are the most important things we can do to generate happiness and contentment in our lives.

 

The fourth concept is finding and expressing purpose and meaning.  The full George Bernard Shaw quote is:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish little selfish clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

 

Do you have something bigger than yourself to focus on?  Is there something bigger that you believe in or something that you know you were meant to do?  For many people this can be expressed in their religion or other spiritual pursuits.  Others may focus on their children or their meaningful contributions.

 

In summary, if you are choosing to pursue happiness:

  1. Understand the difference between Pleasure and Happiness
  2. Take control of your life and your happiness.
  3. Develop close positive relationships and care for others.
  4. Find and express purpose and meaning in your life.

 

As described above for happiness, leadership and success require a long term perspective, action and ownership, strong relationships, and a sense of purpose.

 

Also like Leadership and Success, happiness is not a possession that can be acquired.   It is a state of mind resulting from the cultivation of intentional daily habits.    It has to be pursued, explored, and experienced on an on-going basis.   Find out more about how to cultivate Happiness Habits at Pursuit-of-Happiness.org.

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